COMMON LIES AND ERRORS SINGLES HOLD ABOUT A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
Some ladies today believe in the dress to kill syndrome. By putting
on clothes that expose the sensitive parts of their body they think they
will be able to attract Mr. Right. If you are fond of dresses that
expose sensitive parts of your body, you have a strange or wrong spirit
in you
Exposing parts of your body as a lady will not attend or bring
the right person your way; the best you
are likely to attract is a
whoremonger, because only such people are attracted to such things and
because such men cannot resist seeing and falling for exposed body
parts, it won't be long before he falls for another with better body
parts than yours, since he is always attracted to such and if not, you
will only be seen as a loose and cheap lady. No sensible, well brought
up or guy that is homely will like to have a lady who dresses cheap or
like a harlot for a wife.
All these, spaghetti, mini and micro skirts,
off shoulder dresses, tube clothes, "no bra allowed", body hug, "see
through", crazy or low waist jeans and sagging will not give you the
right man. Even if you wear clothes that drop your breasts and pant in
public? Believe me, you are the last person any responsible man wants
for a wife.
Please dress decently.
LIE NUMBER 4 - "LIVING TOGETHER WILL HELP US UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BETTER".
Co-habiting
before marriage is a gross violation of a successful marriage rule. Any
lady who does this is actually lowering her self worth. Why don't you
allow the man to sweat the stuff for you. Do you know you also insult
your family by this act? Why are you playing the role of a wife that you
are not yet, and may not be in that guy's house? Many singles today
don't even know it is very wrong for you to be going to the house of the
person you want to marry to wash his clothes or cook for him, all in
the name of letting him know you can sweep or cook, these are mere
traditional misconceptions we hold in this part of the world about a
successful marriage, believe me as important as it is for a woman to
know how to do these things, what brings understanding or makes a
successful marriage is much more than these which anyone can learn. But
ask yourself, if you love a woman, will you leave her because she cannot
sweep or cook well or help her learn how to do those things, so why
subject her to your family ridicule or expose her to temptation
especially if you live alone by coming to do those things in your house,
this is because a lot can happen in that process, both of you may
develop undue closeness as you start lying on the same bed, eating from
the same plate, etc, and before long, you even start putting on the same
outfits, all of these are wrong but most singles don't know. You have
not been declared as "husband and wife" please wait for the right time,
be wise and play safe.
LIE NUMBER 5 - "SEX WILL STRENGTHEN OUR LOVE AND SEAL OUR COURTSHIP".
Many
single guys and ladies are victims of this demeaning false impression.
If you don't want God to resign from your courtship, stay away from
pre-marital sex, it is nothing but fornication and will rob those
engaged in it of a glorious marriage because it is not meant for
fornicators. Sex in itself does not have what is required to make a
success of a relationship or marriage.
That you are good in bed does not
make you a wife or husband material, at best your spouse may be with
you only for as long as he or she is enjoying the act, but believe me, a
marriage will need more than this to succeed. Good in bed but bad in
character, in home management, bad in respect, in cleanliness, in hard
work, in productivity, etc, is equal to a bad husband or bad wife and
consequently a bad marriage. Successful marriages are built on
commitment and hard work and not just good sex.
LIE NUMBER 6 - A LADY IS FREE TO PROPOSE TO A GUY IF SHE GETS A GREEN LIGHT THROUGH HIS ACTIONS.
Ladies,
if you don't want to live in the agony of a broken heart, never mistake
any brother's actions as green light or license for you to propose to
him. Not only is it considered an anomaly, it is a reversal of the order
of nature. Don't be too desperate. Don't start by giving him a wrong
impression about your person. Be patient, allow him talk, if you help
him with key decisions like this, be certain you'll likely spend the
rest of your life helping him talk, especially on crucial family
matters. Please let a man be the man and let him grow up to do the
needful. Until he proposes and you give your consent, no courtship is
on!
And please don't even try propose with a letter, text message, e-mail, gift, etc. that is hard evidence against your tomorrow.
LIE NUMBER 7 - "I HAVE WAITED LONG ENOUGH; I WILL GO WITH ANY "AVAILABLE FLIGHT"
Please
don't because of your age settle for anybody. The "next available
flight" may be heading for destruction. If you have waited for this
long, then wait for the best. I believe that, the waiting period is not a
wasting period.
Be wary of HASTE, it can lead to
desperation or despair and this can in turn force a lion to settle for
an ordinary spider. Don't let people's expectations or opinion push you
into what has no future. What matters is not now, but tommoro, better is
the end of a thing than the beginning. You don't owe anyone your life.
God has a time for everyone.
LIE NUMBER 8 - "DOUBLE DATING WILL HELP ME NOT TO SUFFER DISAPPOINTMENT"
Beloved,
marriage is not a game, don't play it, it is not just a date but a
calendar. Double dating is a dangerous game you must not subscribe to.
Brothers, propose to one lady at a time, sisters don't say 'yes' to two
guys at the same time. Accept one proposal alone. Double dating is as
much as sharing your life with two people at the same time? This is not
smartness but confusion. If your relationship is not giving you rest and
hope of a promising marital bliss, you are not under bondage,
prayerfully and wisely sever it and if you are not strong enough seek
counsel and start all over again this time, with a resolve to get it
right and with a deeper conviction, only after you have well gotten over
the first relationship. Sirs and Mam's, do not think double dating will
prevent disappointment, somehow it will be exposed and then you may end
up losing both ways. Please if you are doing this, stop it, because you
are unknowingly breeding and preparing yourself for infidelity and
polygamy.
COMMON LIES AND ERRORS SINGLES HOLD ABOUT A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
LIE NUMBER 9 - "I WILL ENDURE THIS RELATIONSHIP, EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT GETTING ANY FULFILMENT":
A
dry and unfulfilling relationship will dehydrate your good-looking
destiny. Why are you struggling to maintain a relationship as good as
dead when you can find another one? How can you not love somebody or not
be loved by the fellow you are involved with, yet for one reason or the
other, still plan to go ahead with the marriage plans, even when it's
so obvious you are not meant for each other. If you cannot celebrate the
person you are in courtship with now, what hope is there for you in
such a marriage?
You can be certain that a man that does not love
you when you are at the zenith of your beauty will not hesitate to treat
you worse when your beauty has now deteriorated. Break up that
relationship before it breaks you into pieces.
Don't go
ahead with a marriage just because you don't want to lose the fellow.
How can you marry someone you are convinced does not love or respect
you, just to please yourself, even when it's obvious you are not likely
to be. Don't marry someone who's with you because they pity you or
because they are only doing so to use it to assist you or to pay back
your good deed or educational sponsorship. Don't marry a person who is
only agrees to marry you because they are under a threat or compelled to
do so, but would not, left to them, don't be deceived, things will
surely get better with time, truth is, it won't because all such
marriages are not only an error but indeed an aberration and you are
bound to regret this in the future, if you don't want this, then break
up now.
LIE NUMBER 10 - "PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING IS NOT COMPULSORY:"
Entering
into marriage without adequate knowledge of what to expect and how to
handle its challenges is not profitable for anyone. Don't try it! Get
knowledge! What is only rosy today, will soon develop thorns on the way.
Going into marriage without a proper or adequate
knowledge of it, is like going to the battle without weapons. Proverbs
11: 14 says "Where no counsel is; the people fail; but in the multitude
of counselor there is safety". It means, your life and marriage are not
secured without proper counseling. Look for a qualified, mature and
respected, counsellor to counsel you and if you have a marriage
committee in your church, request to go through them for proper
monitoring.
Pre-marital training/counseling is a must for you. There
you will learn things like:
What marriage is and what it is not
Love in marriage
Temperament and marriage
Submission and marriage
Communication, appreciation and contentment in marriage
Forgiveness in marriage
In-laws and marriage
Financial management in marriage
Sex in marriage.
How to prepare for a happy and stress-free wedding among others.
Excerpts from LAWS OF RELATIONSHIP by Pastor Richard Minet
For
those who are already engaged, and who need pre-marital counseling and
mentoring but don't belong to any church, please, get in touch with us
through any of these numbers:
08138248176, 08024668915.
We urge you to drop your comments, questions and observations below
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