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| By Pastor Richard Minet |
WHEN EXPECTATION EXCEEDS PREPARATION
(The bitter end of expectation without preparation)
Overview:
- Failing Marriage today and the worst yet to come.
- People getting married today without any knowledge or understanding of marriage.
- Our preparation for marriage does not match our expectations.
- The bitter end of expectation without preparation.
Prov. 24:27
Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house. (ESV)
The rate at which marriages are failing today is so alarming. More terrifying or worrisome is the kind and class of people that are also involved in this break up (divorce) saga, Bishops, Pastors and all alike. While this should give us serious concern, going by scriptural prophecy, it seems the worst is yet to come. What is ahead of coming generations, may leave little or nothing at all to be desired of marriage.
1Tim. 4:1-3
Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, FORBIDDING TO MARRY..., (ESV/KJV)
You want to know what exactly could happen that will make people detest getting married? A careful look at who and how people are marrying today, gives you a quick clue to this. Like I pointed in my book; "7 marriages that must not hold", too many people are marrying today who either have no business to or who have no understanding of marriage.
Sadly in this our time, many who wish to understand marriage and the preparations it requires or who feel they are not ready being incapacitated by factors like finance, timing, maturity or what have you, are forced by society, family and worse still, some, by even Pastors into marriage.
This Jesus predicted in Luke 17:26-27, when he said; Just as it was in the days of Noah, so will it be in the days of the Son of Man. They were eating and drinking and MARRYING and BEING GIVEN in marriage... The lesson here is that those who manage to say No, will be GIVEN, i.e. forced into marriage.
The problem with our generation is that once we hear so and so are engaged or planning to get married, we get carried away in jubilation, we hardly care to know who or what they are marrying or how they met, their background, if they have a pastor who will or have done marriage counseling for them and what preparations they have made for marriage, what matters to us is the wedding.
Our preparation for marriage does not match our expectations at all, our expectations far outweigh our preparation. When you hear statements like, "I will never endure marriage, my own is enjoyment all the way", "I'm not a fool o, if my own husband tries that with me, I'll return back to my father's house", then you know a person who's yet to receive marriage lessons.
For those who assume they are prepared, what they call preparation for marriage is actually, preparation for wedding or the joys and pleasures of marriage. Sadly for these, wedding and marriage are two different things, actually the marriage only begins after the wedding ends.
Considering the degree of hate, rancor, bitterness, rage, etc, that some one time best couples or lovers now harbour towards each other, which has made a lot of these not only a thorn in each others flesh but much more, the reason behind the alarming rate of abuse, violation and even manslaughter; husbands killing wives (vice versa) today, the need to enlighten our children better as to what and what to expect in marriage and how to prepare for these and not just the gown, the dinner and the romance is very vital now that the social media and entertainment industry more than ever before are giving our children false hope about what marriage is all about.
I strongly recommend the RCCG marriage counseling manual (To have and to Hold Forever) for anyone who is preparing for marriage or even for those already married. It is a marriage best seller. Lessons from choice of marriage partner, to what to do even before you embark on the journey, like knowing your blood type, to engagement and wedding ceremonies and how to go about them, handling extended family members, to issues of forgiveness in marriage, to communication, sex, finance, conflict management, divorce and remarriage, to matters we overlook most times such as; pregnancy, delivery and care of the newborn, etc, all of these are what young people should look forward to and not just the romance alone.
Be sincere with yourself, what exactly are your preparations for marriage, can you say they exceed your expectations. If you prepare adequately, nothing will take you by surprise. Those who usually back out most times prepared less, so let your preparation exceed your expectation.
ACTION POINT:
1. Can you identify at least 7 great expectations that you have for marriage and how you hope to achieve them.
2. Can you identify 7 unexpected issues you hope never to experience in your own marriage and how you will react to or plan to manage them if they occur.
@SMS With PRM #Marriage-Matics
At the end of this article you will understand why our marriages our failing today and the remedy to this menace. Don't keep this to your yourself, kindly share with friends.
