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| By Pastor Richard Minet |
GETTING MARRIAGE RIGHT PART 3
THE BREED (FAMILY CONCEPT)
Overview:
- The breed of people you are to marry (kindred).
- ANCESTRAL or CULTURAL PATTERN, TRAIT OR CHARACTERISTICS.
- No discrimination or tribalism in Christ Jesus.
Gen. 24:3-4
And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
It is not possible to understand Abraham's insistence on his servant not getting a wife for his son Isaac from the Canaanites but from his own kindred, without understanding the word kindred.
The word kindred, means that which is not only related by blood or marriage but that which is similar in QUALITY and CHARACTER. This clearly spells one thing; Family!
Now the dictionary defines family as a group of living things with common characteristics and common source. Going by this definition, we can conclude safely that character is tied to source, or better still, that it is a product of source or again, that source is responsible for character.
At a very tender age, Timothy began manifesting great exploits in the faith, so much that at seventeen, he had become the bishop over the church at Ephesus. It did not take Apostle Paul a long search in finding the source of Timothy’s character trait. It was from his mother and his grandmother. Most of Timothy’s abilities were hereditary; they were in his family line.
2Tim. 1:5 “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuade that in thee also”.
For those marrying, there is something known as ANCESTRAL or CULTURAL PATTERN, TRAIT OR CHARACTERISTICS. By these we mean, those characters or habits that are typical, distinctive or predominant among a particular set of people, race or tribe. That which various people or tribes are known for or associated with.
For example, the Jews are known to be a people who love signs and miracles. The Greeks are a people associated with books, great philosophers, known for pursuit of wisdom. 1Cor. 1:22 “For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom:”.
This is also a confirmation of the beliefs of people concerning ancestral behavioral pattern or inherited characteristically traits of families and tribes. For instance in Nigeria, there is a general belief people hold about some tribes, the Yoruba’s, the Ibo’s, the Hausa’s, etc. Same with the Egyptian midwives in the bible, hear their submission about the Jewish women:
Exodus 1:18.
“And the king of Egypt called for the midwives, and said unto them, Why have ye done this thing, and have saved the men children alive? And the midwives said unto Pharaoh, because THE HEBREW WOMEN ARE NOT AS THE EGYPTIAN WOMEN; FOR THEY ARE LIVELY, AND ARE DELIVERED ERE THE MIDWIVES COME IN UNTO THEM.”
Quick delivery was attributed as a character trait to the Jewish women above, why? It was a pattern that the Egyptians women noted over time about the Hebrew women but it was not so with them, they themselves witnessed to this, hear them; “THE HEBREW WOMEN ARE NOT AS THE EGYPTIAN WOMEN”, and the reason the Egyptian women could not do this was not because they didn’t love to but it just wasn’t in their gene to do this, but it was for the Jewish women because it was ancestral, this was a natural family pattern. And in the same vein, sometimes what is inherited too may be a bad pattern.
Believe it or not, the breed or the place and people you marry from to a large extent determines what follows you in life even if they are believers now, this is because salvation redeems a man but does not EXCUSE his old nature, his former lusts or family character traits, these he will need to RENEW by applying the word of God, otherwise the old ancestral traits, good and bad can still dominate his new life.
This is not to scare you but to help you decide where and how to go when you decide to shop for a life partner, this will also enable you to know what to expect, why your spouse sometimes act as he or she does, this knowledge will help you know what to guide against, where to invest your prayers and your faith more, as well as what area to fortify yourself to deal with as it relates to your spouse. Be careful however not to call or invite wrong forces or actions by your fear of what is not. A STRONG, POSITIVE SELF IMAGE IS THE BEST POSSIBLE PREPARATION FOR THE FUTURE.
Everyone believes traits, good or bad, must be from the family. In 1Sam. 17:55-58, when Saul saw David go out against the Philistine, he said to Abner, the commander of the army, “Abner, whose son is this youth?” And Abner said, “...O king, I do not know.” And the king said, “Inquire whose son the boy is.” And as soon as David returned from the striking down of the Philistine, Abner took him, and brought him before Saul with the head of the Philistine in his hand. And Saul said to him, “Whose son are you, young man?” And David answered, “I am the son of your servant Jesse the Bethlehemite.”
Isn't it funny, rather than focus on the present concern, Saul seemed more interested in who David's father (family) was. But why was Saul so interested in the family of this boy rather than celebrating the victory before Israel? Because of source! If the lad could perform such a feat, Saul knew to discover his family is to further discover more victors.
But again, apart from having good traits, strong lust was also inherent in David's family. See their resume; DAVID: Had a very strong flair for women: • He had many wives, yet he increased his wives and concubines as soon as he was established. 2Sam. 5:12-13 • Took Bathsheba and killed her husband Uriah. 2Sam. 11:1-17 • Jeopardized his life just to raise a dowry for the marriage of the king’s daughter. 1Sam. 18:20-27 • His people could think of no other cure for him when he was sick and at the point of death but to get him a woman. 1Kings 1:1-3 • Took to wife Abigail as soon as her husband died. Like he was wishing for the man’s death. 1Sam. 25:39-42.
Lust not only lived in David, it ran in the entire family, and his children were not left out of this evil. ABSALOM: • Slept with all David’s wives before all Israel in one day. (What a feat). 2Sam. 16:20-22. AMMON: • Raped his half sister. 2Sam. 13:1-19, SOLOMON • Married 700 wives • Had 300 concubines • Followed many strange women who led him astray. 1Kings 11:5-8.
The conclusion is this, all members of a family have what we call TRAITS, and all traits are tied to ROOT, which is the SOURCE or what is responsible for the characters, so while focussing on the good traits of that person you are dying for now, please don't also forget the bad. If its barrenness, please prepare, if divorce runs in the family you enter through marriage, please be well armed against this. See why Abraham wanted to have nothing to do with the Canaanites and also why GOD would ask for an entire family, nation or people to be annihilated or destroyed.
1Samuel 15:3.
“Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.”
While this may not make sense to Saul or you and I. I used to wonder what crime the babies committed and why God could not spare these, I discovered it wasn't just the people that God was against but what was in them, what they carried. WHAT LIES BEHIND US AND WHAT LIES BEFORE US ARE TINY MATTERS COMPARED TO WHAT LIES WITHIN US. WHAT HAPPENS TO A MAN IS LESS SIGNIFICANT THAN WHAT HAPPENS WITHIN HIM.
The action of Saul in sparing Agag along with his wife who later escaped as told by scholars we later learnt was the product Haman, the sworn enemy of the Jews. Esther 3:1 says;
After these things did king Ahasuerus promote Haman the son of Hammedatha the Agagite...,
As believers, while we are not permitted to discriminate or be tribalistic because in Christ there's no Jew, Greek, Yoruba, Ibo or Hausa, however because we all came from somewhere to Christ, it's important to let God lead us beyond what we see in the matter of marriage, so we don't enter what snares us tomorrow or inherit challenges that we were not designed for or that is not a part of our destiny make up to handle.
ACTION POINT:
1. Write out 5 ugly family traits that you know exist in your spouses family, then identify how many is already manifesting and how you intend to help him/her.
2. Write out 5 good family traits in your own family and identify how many you are manifesting.
@SMS With PRM #Marriage-Matics
Check out my previous post on:
FINDING & GETTING MARRIAGE RIGHT (Part 1),
FINDING & GETTING MARRIAGE RIGHT (Part 2)
FINDING &GETTING MARRIAGE RIGHT (Part 4)
For better understanding of the above named Topic,
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