HEALTHY OR DEADLY RELATIONSHIP PART 1 (Detecting a deadly relationship and making a relationship healthy)

By Pastor Richard Minet HEALTHY OR DEADLY RELATIONSHIP (PART 1) (Detecting a deadly relationship and making a relationship healthy) Content: Learning from Samson's mistake.  A relationship can be deadly and still be romantic. Steps to take to avoid deadly relationship. Judge. 15:16-17 And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth. And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death; That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man. In the name of love, unknown to several people, what they are courting like Samson is death. Samson's parents foresaw and in fact warned him about his relationship with women, the likes of Delilah but he failed to listen, not because he wanted to, but because he just couldn't to see the danger they saw until Delilah destroyed him. But how could Samson have known, is it possible for anyone to tell a healthy relationship from a deadly one before it becomes too late? Can you tell if the relationship you are in presently is a healthy or deadly one? What if it's the latter, are there tips I can use in detecting or making it healthy? Now you cannot tell if a relationship is healthy or deadly just by whether the couples get along or not. A couple may not be fighting today, only to destroy each other tomorrow. A relationship can be deadly and still be romantic, while it can be healthy but be having issues, differences, etc, like quarreling and fighting every now and then, such can happen if the couples lack maturity or relationship skills, but this doesn't mean it is a deadly one. So how can I tell if mine is healthy or not? One major sign of a healthy relationship is a conviction that it is of God. It's not enough to say things like; we like each other a lot or we are compatible, ours is love at first site, we attend the same church, we've been very good friends for years, he/she has godly character or is a prayer warrior, if you don't have conviction, it won't be long before you become convicted. Whatever the position or however the meeting, what is most important is to have that inner peace or assurance that it is of God. Secondly, It must have the backing or support of constituted authority. You can't just meet each other or start an affair without recourse to those God has placed over you, your parents, guardians or church must support it. Everybody cannot just be against it, if they are, pause and pray, and note this, if it's a secret affair, one that you cannot make public, like just dating, checking out to see if it will work, then it is not a healthy relationship at all, but a deadly one. Thirdly is; DIFFERENCE IN CENTERS OF LIFE: What exactly is your life center? What matters the most in your life; God, money, family, career, fashion, friends, pleasure, etc, whatever is uppermost in your mind, you'll talk about the most and all the time; this is your life center and what your life will revolve around. If you are dating someone who doesn’t have or care about a personal relationship with Christ and you have one, you are just deceiving yourself, because you will always be pleading with him/her following you to church. If because of beauty, charisma, morals, education, money, etc, you fall in love with such a person, what will become of your ideals, what will your life now revolve around? To allow relationship progress to a physical point where you can't do without a person, only to start wondering why they can't understand your ideals or fit into your quest or center of life is pure stupidity. Worse is to continue nagging in the hope that such will change someday, believe me, they are not likely to, at best, you will only keep fighting until they trade you like Samson. Fourthly; WATCH OUT FOR TOO MUCH PHYSICAL AND TOO LITTLE OF OTHER FACTORS: If you can’t trust, respect or see a safe future with the person you are involved with, but have a great physical relationship, pls rethink the relationship, because you will be too emotionally tied like Samson, and even if you resent the character, words and actions of that fellow, you'll not be able to break away till you are broken away. Healthy relationships consist of someone you can trust, believe or see as reliable enough, if you don't see these factors and don't see see the possibility of him/her developing them, please let go. Be guided by trust and not just affection or lust. Lastly, DETERMINE THE NATURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP: This is done by checking or assessing who and what exactly you are in. What kind of person are you involved with? This will help you determine where you are headed or what your expectations should be. If a believer is seeing an unbeliever who clubs and is having issues with his or her nonchalant attitude to spiritual things and is vowing; "This marriage will not hold until you are serious", the truth is, the believer is the very unserious fellow here, because you are in an unequal yoke affair, nothing will ever be equal but your grave. Be wise! POINT OF MEDITATION: Don't enter into affair with those who are unbelievers or who have lifestyles or attend churches whose beliefs that you do not and cannot approve of, you will only be courting your grave until you reach your breaking point and eventually compromise your assignment and faith. @SMS With PRM      #Marriage-Matics Nice having you here, i believe you will make wise use of the above article and also share it with your friends and family... Please do not for get to drop your comments and subscribe to our mailing list.