MARRIED OR CARRIED (Payment or Non Payment of Bride Price)

By Pastor Richard Minet

MARRIED OR CARRIED
(Payment or Non Payment of Bride Price) 


Overview:

• The value you placed on something.
• believers and tradition.
• Taking someone's daughter as a wife without honoring the family by paying her bride prize.  

1Sam. 18:20-25
Now Saul's daughter Michal loved David. And they told Saul, and the thing pleased him... Therefore Saul said to David a second time, “You shall now be my son- in-law.” And Saul commanded his servants, “Speak to David in private and say, ‘Behold, the king has delight in you, and all his servants love you. Now then become the king's son-in-law.’”... And David said, “Does it seem to you a little thing to become the king's son-in-law, since I am a poor man and have no reputation?” And the servants of Saul told him, “Thus and so did David speak.” Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride price EXCEPT a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king's enemies.’”

The value you place on a thing is determined by the price you are willing to pay for it. While it is important to not allow greed or covetousness to rule our hearts especially in not using marriage as a catalyst for changing our financial fortunes, we must be careful not to make young people irresponsible by totally relieving them of certain vital responsibilities to tradition and custom.


As God's children, we must stop hiding under the guise of tradition as an excuse to do everything it demands including placing heavy burdens on those who brace up to the challenge of fulfilling this rite, this is because tradition can and should indeed be adjusted by us to accommodate our godly virtues like kindness, mercy, etc, especially where it conflicts with godly lifestyle.

In Exodus 22:16-17, the bible informs us of the bride price for virgins, but according to our text, king Saul adjusted tradition, he changed the custom of what was required for bride price to suit poor young David.

1Sam. 18:25
Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines...,"

As believers, we cant keep swallowing everything tradition says, hook, line and sinker, no, we too can insist on adjustments, both of the items required as well as the location, it is not a must you must do it at your village, especially if the greater part of your life or those involved are not in the village, after all it's our children who are wedding and we only involved extended family members to honor them.

Christians must stop acting weak and helpless in matters of tradition, this makes us many times instead of standing up for God where tradition conflicts with scriptural tenets, we chicken out and compromise. This is a grave error and injustice to the faith and the God who instituted marriage and tradition.

But why would anyone want to take someone's child without honoring their family? And why would a lady cheapen herself and her family by giving herself away to a man who has not paid her bride price. This is robbery and therefore ungodly. If nobody had made sacrifices and investment on the lady, would you have seen those values that attracted you to that person? Those little items like; money for cutting grass, money for the boys that watched over her, father's money, cloth money, etc, is to give you the privilege to be part of her yesterday.

I think every woman should encourage and indeed ensure her man fulfills this rite before giving herself away. Again, for those who are already victims, I encourage the parents to please adjust the items required to the nearest minimal possible, so these can fulfill all righteousness. This is because if you die without fulfilling these noble wishes of custom towards your in-laws, you then die as a debtor, and no debtor will make heaven.

For this reason too, I encourage parents, if you love your children, please save them by making special arrangements for the fulfillment of some key aspects, like the payment of the bride price alone, while the other ceremonies can follow later, but you would have at least relieved them from this yoke, unless you don't believe this can send a person to hell.

Again, many for a lack of understanding of the core reasons for this rite, overstretch everyone. They use all kinds of gimmicks to extort money from suitors. Saying that the bride is stock at the airport and needs money for taxi, is a lie, we christians should instead say she is stock on the way and not at the airport, this is not right, a lie is a lie. Again, it is not for the kind of show and display of what have you that some have turned it into, rather, it is a platform to receive fatherly blessings, it is to some degree an expression of a man's value for a woman, it is a demonstration of your suitors respect for your family and shows you are not cheap, but above all, it is to fulfill all righteousness.

For those who are very spiritual and who think bride price is traditional and so don't see why they should sweat the stuff, please dont be deceived, bride price is in fact the real marriage, wedding in church is to give God's divine approval and backing to the couples especially now that all kinds of evil follow marriages, by this, the journey of their union will not only be backed up by traditional voices and forces but by God's unction. Traditional marriage is not a man made custom but a custom initiated and commanded by God. Are you carried or married?

ACTION POINT:
1. Why do you think we need to still do church wedding after traditional marriage?
2. Is it a sin for a believer to start living together with his wife after the traditional when they have not done the church wedding?

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